Family is Important
Pastor Sam Adeyemi
The family is important because it is the primary social unit that God designed for creating and moulding human beings, His greatest asset on this planet. The family is very important because God designed it as the basic social unit where the human being is created and moulded into someone that can fulfil God’s plan and purposes for this planet. In the beginning, God created and blessed the family. This is seen in Genesis1:26-28.
God created Man in His own image. He made us powerful. He only started creation, He did not finish the job. This is because we’re created to be creators. We will not fulfill our destinies as creators if there was nothing to create. So God created everything and then He comes to the creation of Mam who would manage everything else that He created and then He creates only one Man and one Woman and leaves the rest of the job to us.
A creator is someone who brings into existence something that has never existed before and that is what we do. We bring human beings into existence that never existed before. So God created the family as the basic social unit where human beings would not only be created but also moulded and shaped into people that can fulfil God’s plans and purposes. The family, therefore, provides basic needs for the human. The human life goes through a cycle. It starts with dependence then goes to independence and goes to interdependence. With dependence, you can’t provide for yourself and you can’t meet your own basic needs. And then you get to the point where you can so you gain independence from your parents. Then you move to the point of interdependence as a free moral being, you can cooperate with other people to achieve things you could never achieve individually. You form your own family unit, a new family unit, and then the cycle continues.
In the family unit, that dependence phase is important because the family then provides. The family provides shelter to protect you from the elements, the family provides food and the family provides love. It provides the basic needs, the physical and the physiological needs. It’s amazing to think that God designed the human system to be be able to provide milk that the baby needs. As you go higher on the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, you have emotional needs such as love that is also provided by the family. The family is the basic unit where humans should have their emotional needs met. It’s where they should feel loved and secure emotionally. There is then the need for self esteem. It’s from the family that the child basically first gets its sense of identity including self image, self confidence self esteem, a sense of significance, a sense of meaning and a sense of purpose. Why? The family provides the first opportunity for a child to serve and for family members to serve one another. That’s where you deprive your sense of fulfillment from then you carry that on to society.
1st Timothy 5:8 gives the position of our faith with respect to the family. Someone that has a family should not be a burden to the public or the society. It is when the needs go beyond the capacity of the family that it should then go outside. There are other social units in the society such as the church and the government but the basic one is the family.
We are right in the middle of a pandemic and the best thing we’ve had to do is to stay home. Most people right now are staying with their families. They’re staying where they feel it is safe; where there’s shelter and where there’s emotional support because this is a season that is very demanding on all of us. There’s a lot of panic, fear and uncertainties surrounding the pandemic. All this is cr acting emotional and psychological pressure for the people and the basic support unit right now is the family.
This might be a good opportunity for us all to re-evaluate our values. Everything doesn’t value the same in one’s life. You’ve got to prioritize and when we check out our values and what is important to us, this season is helping us to re-evaluate everything. There are loads of things we thought we could not so without that we’re doing without now and we’re not dead yet!
To live a fulfilling and meaningful life, we’ve got to have our priorities right and right now from this experience, we have learnt to out God first. As powerful, accomplished and technologically advanced as Man is, something showed up that even presidents cannot handle. The virus has made us realize that if there’s someone that’s more powerful than Man, then you must have a relationship with Him because He’s the one that created the whole place and the planet is hanging on nothing, spinning through spaces and the virus could not move if out of orbit. Put God first as seen in Matthew 6:33
Secondly, we have learnt to value family. Right now, it’s our lives ones and families that we’re having to stay with. Then we have learnt to value relationships. Love God and love people. This pandemic has made nonsense of money, power etc. It’s killed both the rich and the poor. We need to re-evaluate our values.
Family is important and valuable from the scriptural point of view. Someone suggests that Jesus asked us to value ministry over family Luke 14:6 is taken as reference. However, Jesus is saying there that we should prioritize our love for God over love for everyone else. He wasn’t suggesting that we should not love them. Sometimes we want to equate working for God with loving God. Working for God can be proof of loving God but those are two different things. You can love without working for that person and you can work for a person without loving them. The relationship is the basic thing and we should prioritize it. He’s not suggesting that we should not love people, our parents, our spouses of our children.
We can’t use the Luke 14:16 illustration as proof that he did not love or prioritize His mother. He was simply saying that God’s got to come first. After that, with the scriptural understanding, it’s the family.
Paul the Apostle was discussing the qualifications of being a Bishop and one of the qualifications was that the person has got to be managing his family well. In God’s economy, it’s family first and then you being them back to the other social units. Even in the ten commandments, God is protecting the family. When God’s says don’t commit adultery or honor father and mother, He’s protecting the family unit because God wants it to work because He has something at the back of His mind.
Jesus spoke about the family. In Matthew 19, He spoke about Marriage and Divorce and He protected the family from breaking down.
Paul the Apostle spoke about the family. In 1st Cor. 7, he speaks about sexual relationships. In Ephesians 5, he speaks about how husband and wife should behave to each other. In Ephesians 6, he talks about the relationship between parents and children.
In 1st Pet. 3, Peter the Apostle speaks about the marriage relationship. He speaks to the women and how they should approach it, he speaks to the men and how they should approach it and how not managing one’s relationship well can affect answers to one’s prayers.
Let us bring love back into the family because the family is the basic place where someone is supposed to experience love.
Parents are to love each other. Parents are to love children. Children are to love parents. Children are to love one another.
We cannot give wha we don’t have. Everyone in the society came from somewhere. The big question we should ask today is, “Did we get love from home?” And “Are we getting love from home?”
If there’s selfishness at home, there will be selfishness in the society. If there’s anger and hatred at home, there will be anger in the society. If there’s generosity at home, there will be generosity in the society. If there’s kindness at home, there will be kindness in the society. If there’s suspicion and lack of trust at home, we will carry it over to the people outside.
Do you feel loved? Were you loved by your parents, siblings and authority figures in your life. Right now, do you love your spouse and your children?
How do we know what love is? The basic proof of love is giving as seen in John 3:16.
The family where there is love, there is sacrificial giving. 1st John 3:16-18
It makes a world of difference when parents sacrifice for their children and then we carry it over to society where the older generation sacrifices for the younger generation.
One of the major differences between the societies that are prosperous and the ones that are not is the investment in children. This is at the societal level when education is high quality and free. Then the older generation pays the taxes. That’s where the investment comes from.
Many families sacrifice to pay school fees for their kids. We make progress and the next generation is an improvement on the previous one.
The second proof of love is forgiveness. When people love people, they forgive them. From the first family, there was bitterness, envy and murder.
Most of us have been hurt by parents, siblings and children because it’s a broken world and we’re broken people. The sin nature is inadequate but there is good news. Sin doesn’t have the final say and that’s why Jesus came.
Jesus died, paid for our sins, died on our behalf so now because of Him and His sacrifice, God forgives us. That’s love! Can we extend that love to one another? Can we start from there? Can we make today World Forgiveness Day? Can we forgive one another?