Romans 8: 28
God has a purpose for everyone. None of us is an accident of nature or got here by chance. God is a deliberate God and He is a master planner. God had each and every one of us in mind before we were here. And that is what the apostle was trying to buttress in Romans 8:28. So whatever it is that you are going through, whatever state you find yourself right now, it is working together for your good, Amen! There is nothing that would happen to anyone that would catch God by surprise. Whatever phase of life you are going through it is working together for your good. One of the critical things we need to ensure is that we are working with God’s plans and purpose per time.
We Christians believe in predestination- the fact that our lives were planned before the first man was created as we see in Jere.1:5. The sin nature robbed us of the capacity to fulfil God’s plans for our lives, as a result of that, our destinies can only be realized through Christ. In Rom 8:28-30 we see that our greatest fulfilment will be found in following God’s plan and purposes for our lives. The first thing to note is that God’s plan is that Jesus will be the number one example for us to follow. One of the key things we notice about the life of Jesus is that He was always desiring to do the Father’s will. We must listen to heaven and be in step with what Heaven desires. In Psalms 40:6-8, John 8:29 we see Jesus making reference is to doing what pleases God.
With the above established, we must ask this question, “Has God determined that it is not good to be alone?” The society has so programmed us to think that if you are not married you are not complete. But that is not true. You can be married and not be out of God’s will. As a matter of fact, it is better for some people to be alone if that is God’s plan for their lives because most times marrying the wrong person or for the wrong reasons can be a painful experience. There are several wrong reasons why people get into marriage;
- To ease loneliness
- To be happy or have someone to make you happy. Nobody else can make you happy. Your happiness is your responsibility
- Some people get married for money
- Because of pregnancy
- For some people it is because they want to be free from parents
- For some, it’s because all their friends are married
- Peer or family pressure
- Immigration purposes
- Some people feel too guilty and ashamed to back out of a relationship in spite of serious doubts and negative signs
- Some people are willing to gamble their future on the premise that “I will change him or I will convert her” it is only God that has the power to change anybody
- Some people it’s because of the sex
Being single is a gift and some have grace for it as seen in 1 Cor. 7:7. Marriage is not a prerequisite for entering heaven. Marriage does not complete a person. If an incomplete person enters a marriage, he/she will cripple it. So before you go in, you must be complete by yourself. Jesus explained in Matt 19:7 that when marriage works according to God’s design, divorce is not on the table. The provision for divorce in the Bible is an exception not the rule. In verse 10 of Matthew 19, Jesus stressed that marriage is not for anyone. There is grace for being married, and grace for being single. If you don’t have grace for being single, you will know.
The popular philosophy now encourages us to enjoy the benefits of marriage without marriage, but that is not our standard. The Word of God is still our yardstick. Having sex outside of marriage distorts the structure of human relationships. So marriage is still cool if it is done with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
How do you find God’s plan for your marital destiny?
- Pray about it. Sight is deceptive. There is more to life than what you see. It is God that sees the heart. Proverbs 3:5-6, Jer 33:3 validates this.
- Find your destiny in the Word. Study the Word and sit with it. The word is an anchor for our soul. Spend time in meditation.
- Have people pray for and with you. This is not for them to ‘see’ for you. Don’t submit your destiny to anyone to see for you. That is your responsibility. Matthew 18:19
- Watch while you pray. When the feeling part is there must always be reasons. Feelings disappears. Interact with people and attend Singles’ events. Go to places where the kind of people you desire comes. If it’s the right person, you will have peace and assurance. Don’t go around sampling men or ladies.
- Be humble enough to admit when the signs are there that the relationship will not work. Learn from your mistakes and change your approach