A relationship that often goes unexamined, yet is incredibly important, is your relationship with self. Developing a strong relationship with self is foundational to living a fulfilled life.
The quality of your relationship with self directly impacts every other connection in your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
You cannot extend love that you do not first possess. As it is written, the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. This presupposes a healthy relationship with self.
Think of the spies sent to Canaan. Ten of them, crippled by a poor relationship with self, saw themselves as grasshoppers. Their perception of their own worthlessness colored their entire experience, leading to fear and disobedience.
This is a profound truth: our relationship with self shapes our perspective.
We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are. If our internal world is fractured, that fracture distorts our view of everything and everyone around us.
Developing a strong and loving relationship with self is a journey of transformation. Here are some key steps to take:
1. Anchor Yourself in God’s Unconditional Love
Embrace the fact that God loves you fiercely and unconditionally. Your value isn’t tied to your performance or achievements but to the immeasurable price He paid for you.
2. Invite the Holy Spirit as Your Guide
Ask the Holy Spirit to be your “love coach” in this journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Let Him reveal areas that need healing and renewal.
3. Cultivate Positive Self-Talk
Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with affirmations rooted in God’s truth. If you’re unsure what to say, declare the “I AM” statements of Christ over yourself.
4. Identify and Embrace Your Gifts
Recognize that you are a unique and valuable creation of God, endowed with specific gifts and talents. Use them with confidence and purpose.
5. Celebrate Your Journey
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, both small victories and major milestones. Practice daily gratitude, even in the midst of challenges.
Building a healthy relationship with self requires intentionality, perseverance, and a reliance on God’s grace. As you grow in self-love and acceptance, you will find that your relationships with others also flourish.
An excerpt from the sermon by Pastor Boye Oloyede on Sunday, March 30, 2025.
Watch this sermon here
